Adventures of Adulting
I’m a transplant.
I graduated from Penn State in May and decided that I wanted to move to Virginia to be closer to my boyfriend. Close, but not too close. I still wanted to be able to be my own person, not accountable to others and not responsible for anyone besides myself. It was something I discovered so recently that I didn’t want to give it up.
So I moved down here, to Norfolk, two hours away from my boyfriend, three from my friends up in D.C, six from my family.
And suddenly, I was very alone.
I was never too afraid of being alone. I spent the week before I started my job getting my apartment in order - my new, very adult apartment that I paid for with my own money that I had saved.
But it was quiet. I went to work, came home, watched Netflix and repeated the process. Visited my boyfriend on weekends, or had him visit me. I was busy, but when I came home from work and didn’t have anyone to talk to, I decided I needed a friend.
My first foray into making adult friends was awkward. My boyfriend and I were eating lunch at a restaurant, and our waitress was cool so I asked her for her number, explaining that I was new and didn’t know anyone in the area. She was nice, kind of surprised when I asked, but she gave it to me. It was my first attempt at an adult friendship, and my first time getting a girl’s number that I didn’t know.
I never called her, and I definitely lost that scrap of paper. I don’t even remember what she looked like.
Since that was a bust, I decided to give Bumble BFF a try. Sure, Bumble’s originally a dating app, but it also has a setting where you can meet friends in the area.
I was excited the first night I downloaded it, swiping right to everyone I thought was cool and wasn’t married with a kid.
I ended up talking to a few girls, but the conversations never progressed further than the first stages of getting to know one another. It wasn’t for lack of trying on either end, more because it’s hard to know when you have a message in Bumble.
Around October, a friend who had moved to North Carolina told me that she met some awesome girl on Bumble, and now they do weekly sushi dates, and isn’t that fun? So I brought Bumble back to life on my phone, matched with a girl named Emily, and frankly, took things too quickly.
We exchanged numbers, talked about our weekends, families and work, bonded over our cats (I had just recently gotten a kitten), and then things fizzled out. We both got busy in our new jobs, she had friends in the area, and I had started forming closer relationships with some of the people I work with.
I’d like to say that I have friends now, about five months into my new adventure. Someone recently started working on our team that graduated from Temple in May, and now we hang out most weekends with a couple of our other coworkers. My across-the-hall neighbor is cool, and we hang out when I’m not doing much else, chat about our cats and the boys in her life.
I don’t think I’m alone anymore. My cat is my shadow, perpetually underfoot. My friends will text and snapchat me at all hours, I visit my boyfriend and he visits me.
Moving six hours away from my family and hours away from the people I knew was hard. There were nights I was sad because I didn’t have anyone to talk to about the daily things in my life without a backstory that was annoying to tell. There were other nights that I danced in my underwear and made cookie dough just to eat it and watch a cheesy romcom.
It was hard. But I grew to be someone who isn’t afraid of the quiet, or being alone. And because of that, I would do it all over again.